Our Sons Story Our Sons Story
NAV Are these Questions Familiar? NAV
NAV Did Your Child Come Out to You? - Parents are never prepared to accept the news that their children are gay. I will never forget that Friday night in December of 1997. NAV
NAV Is My Child Gay or Confused? - When Adam told us he was gay, we thought, "This can't be true, he's just confused". NAV
  Should I Accept My Child's Orientation? - For Patti and I, our first reaction was absolutely not. He is only 16 years old. What does he know about sexual relations? NAV
  Am I Ashamed of My Child or of Myself? - When Adam came out to us, shame was a big word in our lives. I was afraid that people would overlook Adam's wonderful qualities and focus on just one aspect of him ---- his sexual orientation. NAV
  Did My Parents Make Me Gay? - Yes, absolutely, my parents made me gay. They had sex, my mom got pregnant, and bam!...I popped out of the womb - brown hair, brown eyes, and gay! NAV
  Is Homosexuality a Sin? - When it comes to the subject of homosexuality, our religious institutions remind me of the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's. NAV
  Who Can I Talk to About This? - Take comfort, you are only lost for a little while. There is a light at the end of this long, lonely path. NAV
  What is God's Plan? - How does being gay fit in God's plan? This is the hardest question to discuss. The answer will depend on whom you are talking to. NAV
  Why Would My Child Choose to be Gay? - You have just asked an important question. Ironically, once you have exhausted all of the obvious possibilities, you will probably come to understand the absurdity of the question itself. NAV
Other Points of Interest
  Hope... How Our Family has Progressed - After learning that Adam was gay, Patti and I were devastated. Our response was typical. We prayed for a miracle.  


Patti & Jeff EllisJeff: Adam was always a bright and happy child. He was also quite stubborn. As his father, I always found that frustrating in one respect, but I also admired it. I'm a believer that stubbornness is an innate belief in oneself and that it will provide you courage to follow your own path, no matter where it takes you. As it turned out, that was very much in Adam's favor.

From the very beginning, Adam was never interested in sports. In an effort to jump-start his interest, I pretty much brow beat him into signing up for soccer at the tender age of four. I told him that if he would play just one game, then he could quit after that if he didn't like it. He reluctantly agreed. I knew he would like it if he would just try it.

From the very first practice, it was evident that he just didn't have that "fire in the belly" attitude it takes to win. He was so passive. Winning just wasn't that important.

When the big day of his first game came around, he really didn't care. His performance, or lack thereof, was as you might expect. His team lost, but I don't think he knew. This really bothered me and when I asked him about it, his response was, "I want to quit soccer."

I said, "You can't quit soccer, you made a commitment."

He said, "No, you made the commitment, I want to quit."

I hate losing an argument to a four-year-old so I talked him into a few more games. He did, but even I could tell this was going against his nature. He would rather be pedaling around in his miniature Volkswagen car by himself, happy as could be. And even as much as I wanted him to play sports, I was smart enough to realize that I was going to make everybody miserable making Adam fit into a mold of my own making.