Adam told us he was gay, we thought, "This can't be true, he's
You have no idea how long your own child has been asking himself
or herself this question. If your child has finally told you,
it is because they are no longer confused. They have exhausted
every resource they know to remove this "burden" from their life
and they have come to an uncomfortable, but profound understanding
of their sexual identity.
Your children are not stupid. They know the shame and rejection
they will face from society. They know what the church says about
homosexuality. Just ask them how many times they have prayed to
God to remove this "curse" from them. Their biggest fear was disappointing
you and being alienated from you.
Nobody risks banishment, humiliation, and even physical harm
to express mere confusion. It is the inescapable certainty that
has brought them to the point of risking everything by telling
you their "shameful" secret.
When Adam told us, we were certain he was confused. The first
thing we did was schedule an appointment with a respected psychiatrist
that we knew would quickly straighten him out. Adam seemed to
like him but after just a few visits, it became clear to Patti
and I that this "quack" wasn't batting for the right team. He
was telling us that Adam was gay and that we had better get used
to it. We seriously questioned the credentials of his medical
school and went looking for a second opinion.